Gospel & Doctrine

In a world where the definitions of marriage and family are ever changing, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints stands as a constant defender of the family unit. It calls the family "the most important social unit in time and eternity." Families are held to be sacred, not loose collectivities that begin or end as convenient. According to the Proclamation on the Family issued by the First Presidency of the Church in 1995, "The family is ordained of God."

And families are eternal. When a family is sealed in the temple by the proper priesthood authority, that family unit can endure forever. The marriage can last not just "until death do you part," but for time and all eternity. Family relationships - children, siblings, grandparents, and more - can also continue for time and all eternity.

So Latter-day Saints have a different perspective on their families than some people do. They don't see them as just an arrangement that will last for this life only; they see them as something that can last forever.

Why do we even have families? I'm sure the Lord in His wisdom has more purposes than we can fully grasp right now. But one reason is explained in a beloved children's hymn that Latter-day Saints often sing: "I am a child of God, and He has sent me here, has given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear."

Imagine a loving Heavenly Father who is sending one of His beloved spirit children to earth to gain a body and mortal experience. This child deserves parents who will love him, care for him, take care of his needs, and teach him those things that are right. In fact, the song continues with a plea to the child's parents, teachers, and other who love him: "Lead me, guide me, walk beside me. Help me find the way. Teach me all that I must do to live with Him someday."

Children are a sacred gift from the Lord. He has entrusted us as parents with one or more of His precious children. According to the Proclamation on the Family, "Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live."

So how can we find happiness in our families when these very units seem to be behind so much sorrow and contention in the world today? Again, according to the First Presidency in the Proclamation on the Family: "Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ ... Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities." We're all human, and we all make mistakes, but this counsel doesn't leave room for selfishness, manipulations, put-downs, infidelity, abuse, or many other actions that can ultimately cause a lot of pain in relationships. Joy in marriage and family life is truly possible. It takes work, sacrifice, patience, and a lot of selflessness - but the results are more than worth the effort.

Family home evening is something that is often mentioned in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. For nearly a century, our leaders have promoted it as something that will bring families together and effectively teach the gospel to the next generation. President Joseph F. Smith, the sixth president of the Church, began promoting this in 1915.

One of the most important things to remember about family home evening is that it's about your family, and it's about what will work best for your family. According to the family home evening site on www.lds.org, "Family home evening is a special time set aside each week that brings family members together and strengthens their love for each other, helps them draw closer to Heavenly Father, and encourages them to live righteously."

Those are great goals for any family. And I should mention that all families, regardless of religion, would benefit from such a regular time devoted just to their family, strengthening family bonds, praying together, and helping family members to understand how to live good lives. So if you're thinking this program isn't for you because you aren't a Mormon ... think again.

The Church has some suggestions regarding how a family home evening could be run. Often each family member is given a duty for that week's family home evening, and these tasks are rotated. Duties might include:

• Conducting the meeting
• Leading the family in a song
• Saying an opening prayer
• Sharing a scripture or other spiritual thought
• Giving a lesson on a gospel principle
• Saying the closing prayer
• Preparing a special treat for the family to enjoy together
• Planning a fun activity for the family to enjoy together

Larger families might divide some of these duties, or they might add some other ones such as "Family Hugger" or "Talent Spotlight." Smaller families might combine tasks, or eliminate a few of them. For instance, some families enjoy rotating the task of conducting the meeting, while others prefer a more informal setting and don't make that a specific task. Families with young children might have parents or older children team up with younger ones. They might also favor lessons with pictures and finger plays, while families without young children might choose simply to study a talk together from general conference, or other scriptural or inspirational reading.

Keep in mind that you should do what's best for your family. But I think that one of the key principles here is setting aside the time. Family home evening isn't meant to be something that you get over with in five minutes because you're busy and you want to do other things. Family home evening means setting aside the time every week and spending it with your family. Can you imagine how strong our families could be if everyone would set aside a few hours once a week to specifically build and strengthen them?